Loss and Greif
Understanding Your Journey Through Grief
When Loss Changes Everything
Grief is a natural response to loss, particularly the loss of someone or something significant in our lives. It can be triggered by various events such as the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or even the loss of a pet. The grieving process is unique to each individual, and people may experience and express grief in different ways.
There is no set amount of time for intense sadness after losing someone you love. Grief is very individual, but there are some common patterns.
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First few weeks: Sadness can feel overwhelming. People may experience shock, disbelief, crying, numbness, anger, anxiety, or difficulty sleeping and concentrating.
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First few months: The intense emotions often continue, but they may gradually come in waves rather than being constant. Certain places, songs, dates, or memories can suddenly bring the sadness back.
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Around 6–12 months: Many people begin to find that everyday life becomes more manageable, although they can still have very painful periods.
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Beyond a year: It is completely normal to continue missing someone and to experience sadness, especially around anniversaries and significant occasions. Grief doesn't necessarily disappear; people generally learn to live with the loss while the pain becomes less overwhelming.
There isn't a deadline for grieving.
However, grief can sometimes get stuck with a person or go unexpressed.
Being ‘stuck in grief’
There is a difference between normal ongoing grief and grief that has become persistent and severely disruptive. Being stuck in grief happens when grief remains extremely intense and disabling for a long time. This can sometimes develop into prolonged grief disorder, where grief remains intense and significantly interferes with someone's life.
Some people can feel as though they are “stuck” in grief, especially after a very significant loss. This doesn't mean they are doing anything wrong or that they aren't capable of moving forward.
Often, people experience grief much more deeply when different emotions are attached to it. Guilt, anger and fear are common additions to sadness, making it harder to let go of the loss.
Sometimes those additional emotions originate from bereavement itself, and sometimes they come from very different places. As a result of many unprocessed emotions, a person has no internal space to process the sadness itself
When grief may feel like being “stuck”, person might:
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Feel intensely sad most of the time for a prolonged period.
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Feel unable to accept that the person has died.
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Constantly think about or long for the person.
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Avoid places, people, or activities that remind them of the loss.
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Feel that life has lost its meaning or that they cannot imagine a future without the person.
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Have significant difficulty returning to everyday activities or relationships.
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Experience intense guilt, anger, or regret that doesn't seem to ease.
If someone is unable to function, feels that life has no meaning, or their distress isn't easing over an extended period of time, seeking professional help may be necessary.
The American Psychiatric Association states that prolonged grief disorder involves severe, persistent grief that causes significant distress or impairment and has lasted at least 12 months in adults.
Suppressed Grief
Grief is a natural response to loss, but not everyone feels able to fully acknowledge or express it at the time. Some people may suppress or avoid their emotions because the pain feels overwhelming, they feel they need to remain strong, or they need to support others. When grief is not given space to be experienced, it may continue to affect a person emotionally, mentally, or physically.
Someone may, for example:
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Keep extremely busy so they don't have time to feel the loss.
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Avoid talking about the person who died.
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Push away sadness, anger, guilt, or other painful emotions.
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Feel emotionally numb or disconnected.
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Tell themselves they need to move on quickly.
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Focus on caring for everyone else while ignoring their own grief.
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Avoid places, photographs, belongings, or memories associated with the person.
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Experience the grief later, sometimes months or years after the loss, when something triggers the emotions.
Suppressed grief may present as emotional numbness, persistent sadness, anxiety, irritability, guilt, difficulty sleeping, withdrawal, feeling disconnected, or strong emotional reactions to reminders of the loss.
Sometimes these feelings may emerge unexpectedly, even long after the loss occurred. What appears to be “unprocessed grief” can resurface as strong emotions, anxiety, sleep difficulties, relationship difficulties, avoidance, or unexpected reactions to reminders of the loss.
“Grief doesn't always disappear when we push it away.
Sometimes we learn to live around it until we feel safe enough to face what we have lost.”
More often than not, people are aware of supressed grief but are not really doing anything about it until a random issue appears in their life that needs resolution. Unresolved grief can be strongly connected and largly contribute to any current issue like sleep problems, phobias or anxiety even though the loss we experiened happend long time ago.
Supressed grief and being stuck in grief can overlap, but both describe different things.
What it describes
Typical pattern
What it can look like
Timing
Therapeutic focus
Suppressed/avoided grief
How someone relates to their emotions
Emotions are pushed away, avoided, or not expressed
“I don't want to talk about it.” “I have to stay strong.” Emotional numbness or distraction
Can happen soon after the loss or later
Creating safety to acknowledge and tolerate emotions
Feeling stuck in grief
How someone is adapting to the loss over time
Grief remains highly intense or continues to interfere with life
Persistent yearning, preoccupation with the deceased, difficulty accepting the death, withdrawal, or inability to reconnect with life
Usually refers to grief that remains problematic over a prolonged period
Helping the person adapt to the loss and regain functioning
An important distinction
Someone can suppress their grief without being stuck.
For example, a person might initially avoid talking about their loss because it is too painful. Months later, when they feel safer, they may naturally begin expressing and processing their emotions.
Likewise, someone can feel stuck without having suppressed their grief. They may think about the person constantly, talk openly about their loss and desperately want to move forward, but still find that the grief remains overwhelming.
And sometimes the two can occur together. A person may avoid certain painful emotions or memories, which can contribute to difficulties adapting to the loss. However, it would be too simplistic to say that suppressed emotions cause prolonged or complicated grief.
Suppressed/avoided grief:
“What feelings, memories or thoughts have you found difficult to allow yourself to experience?”
Feeling stuck:
“How is your grief affecting your ability to live your life, connect with others and imagine a future?”
Hypnotherapy as Supportive Grief Work
There isn't a recommended rule that someone must wait a certain number of weeks or months before receiving supportive therapy for grief. In fact, support can be appropriate quite early after a bereavement if the person wants it. The important question is what the person needs and whether the intervention is appropriate for their current state.
Hypnotherapy may provide a calm and supportive environment in which individuals can explore their thoughts, emotions, memories, and beliefs surrounding a loss. Through relaxation and therapeutic techniques, hypnotherapy may help a person connect with emotions at a pace that feels safe and manageable, develop healthier ways of coping, and begin to create a sense of acceptance and inner peace.
Hypnotherapy is not about forgetting the person or removing grief. Rather, it can be used as a supportive approach to help individuals process their experience and learn to live with their loss in a meaningful way. If you need appropriate medical or psychological care, hypnotherapy should complement it, not be a replacement.
