Loss and Greif
I was being too sad for too long.
If that is what happens to you, call me. I can help.
Everyone copes with painful life events differently and at their own pace. Over time things should get better, and you should be able to see the light in the tunnel. But, if your Grief isn't getting more manageable over a long period, underlying issues exist.
As we live our lives, we do come across some unpleasant events. One may be more challenging to deal with than the other. Sometimes it is just one, and sometimes there are many.
Suppose we do nothing to resolve those experiences as we live (like letting go of the pain, anger, or sadness) but instead push the feelings down and suppress them. In that case, I can assure you they are not going anywhere but inside of you.
As we gather those undesirable emotions, our minds do not stretch. They stay the same, which means they can only hold onto a certain amount of 'distressing stuff' before it is too much.
If after a loss you are not getting any better, if after a year or two you feel the same as it all happened yesterday, you might look like you are holding on to Grief. The truth is you are not holding onto it. You experienced one event too much to be able to manage, especially since the loss of someone is a very significant incident. This incident took you overboard.
Imagine a bucket filling up with water by a drop. Drop after drop. It may take forever, but if there is no hole for water to leak (letting go of negative emotions as we go through life), eventually the bucket will get full. When it reaches the top edge, you only need one more drop to overflow. The overflow is your prolonged Grief that doesn't get better with time.
Understanding that the 'other stuff' holding there stops you from processing the Grief is crucial. Inside of you is too crowded, too congested, and too packed to allow you to process most likely the most difficult challenge you could face. To help with prolonged Grief and bring you relief, we need to work on previous emotions side by side while working on your Grief to enable you to move on.